Ashlyn Hobbs Blogs

  An often-overlooked principle in successful families is the role of the father. Children learn extremely valuable things from their father that could not be learned otherwise. An article I read recently describes the roles of the father well. Three crucial points made include: 1. The effect a father has on his daughter. When a girl is looking for a potential spouse, she looks for qualities that are like those of her father. Thus, if the girl’s father is hard-working, kind, and considerate, she will look for those same qualities in a lover. Girls look for what is familiar to them because they know how to handle it. 2. The effect a father has on his son. Boys look to their father as a model for what they wish to become. They strive to follow the characteristics their father demonstrates. If a father is strict and demanding, the son will be so as well. If the father is kind and loving, the son will follow suit. 3. Children who have a good relationship ...

There are many factors that play into a healthy or unhealthy relationship. One of the most critical factors is communication. If a relationship is going to prosper, those involved must be able to openly and successfully communicate. When a disagreement arises, they have to know the best way to respond. Despite it being human reflex, arguing is not an effective response. In fact, it is quite the opposite. If two people have differing opinions, it is important to seek to understand where the other person is coming from and recognize where you may be wrong in your argument. A wonderful process to achieve effective communication comes from David D. Burns in his novel, Feeling Good Together . The book outlines the “Five Secrets of Effective Communication”. These five steps include: 1.       Disarming Technique a.       One of the most critical pieces of the disarming technique is finding the “kernel of truth”. The kernel of trut...

Every family will face a crisis at one point in their lives. Some allow crisis to break the family apart, others are strengthened through it. The crisis is not what matters. What matters is how members of a family respond to the crisis. There are both ineffective and effective coping patterns to deal with crisis. Some ineffective coping patterns include:      Denial: a.       Denial is the most common coping mechanism. It occurs when a person refuses to believe that the crisis exists. Denial is common when there is a death in the family, alcoholism leads to abuse, or a family member is diagnosed with a terminal illness. A good example of denial is displayed in the movie Charly. When Charly is diagnosed with cancer (spoiler alert), her husband Sam goes into a state of denial. He will not face that fact that Charly will most likely die and lets it eat away at him. He becomes distraught and angry. b.       D...

The human body is incredible. Both males and females can do so many amazing things. One such thing is sexual intercourse. Sex is a beautiful thing when performed in the bonds of marriage. Yet, it often occurs in relationships outside of marriage or is highly abused. This can cause multiple problems physically, and mentally. Diseases can be transmitted, people who were abused with sex can have a fear of it even when they get married, and teenagers can end up getting pregnant because they did not truly understand the consequences of their actions. For these and many other reasons sex is a hard subject to address. Despite its being hard it is an extremely essential subject to talk about. Married couples must discuss it with one another, and, when they have children, it is critical that they teach their children about it.                If children are not taught about sexual topics it can be highly damaging to them...

Marriage is a wonderful step in a person’s life. Two people get to come together, love each other, and start a new, magnificent life. While this is true, it can cause some unrealistic ideals for marriage. Marriage is hard. It can be full of conflict, disagreement, and miscommunication. When some get married they are shocked by this discovery and wonder if they married the right person. The answer can always be yes. If two people truly love and support each other, they can work through the kinks of marriage and live a happy, fulfilling life together.                          There are important steps to take prior to a wedding and marriage. Weddings do not have to be extravagant and expensive. The requirements of a wedding are only that two people are joined together and celebrated in that marriage. If a couple doesn’t have the time or money to make a spectacle of...